8th of April 1994 Kurt was found dead in his own house, of what appeared to be a shotgun blast to his head three days earlier. Two days after there were a memorial where Courtney read a part from his suicide note. Kurt had said earlier that same year that he never expected to reach the age of 30. Unfortunately he was right. He became a rock legend like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison. They all became 27.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true . I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The
worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage . I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have
affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too
fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it
good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern
during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away. 

Peace, Love, Empathy Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Pleas keep going
Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

 I have done many websites in the past but this has by far been the hardest to do.  Even now just thinking of Kurt saddens me but I felt it necessary to share how I feel with others.  During his life he influenced pretty much everything I did, his attitude towards others was not that dissimilar to mine in a lot of respects and I've always hoped that one day,  I would see things the way he did thus understanding his reasons behind taking his life that tragic day.

 Thank you for everthing Kurt...

Kurt had a happy childhood, until
he was seven years old when his
parents got divorced. It was an
ordinary divorce, but Kurt got
very upset about it. He became
shy and difficult to cope with. 
The years after the divorce Kurt
moved back and forth from his
parents. In the end his parents did
not want anything to do with him
so he had to move in at some
relatives. This period of his life is
also reflected in his lyrics, e.g. in
Sliver.

Until Kurt was nine years old he only listened to The Beatles and The Monkees, but in
-79 his father joined a record-club and he started to listen to music like Led Zeppelin,
Black Sabbath and Kiss. He also started to listen to British alternative rock like Sex
Pistols and The Clash.

2nd of February 1981, on Kurt’s 14th birthday, he bought his first guitar. And in the
years to follow he tried to create his own music style and started to hang out in the
Seattle underground, where he was roadie for a band called Melvins.

In May 1985 a few weeks before graduation Kurt dropped out of school and started to
work. He had a few jobs but it was never a success, and he never held on to a job for
that long.

Nirvana was started in 1986 of Kurt Cobain and Krist Novaselic. Kurt played the guitar
and sang while Krist played bass-guitar. After a few attempts with some different
drummers they were’t satisfied until they where introduced to Dave Grohl by the
vocalist of the Melvins, which became the new drummer of Nirvana. They made their
first demo in 1988 and it didn’t take long until their first single was released. Already the
next year they released their first album,
Bleach. This album cost a total of 600$ to record, which isn’t so much. They then
started to tour in the U.S. and later that same year they had their first European concert
in Newcastle, England.

The following year they released a new single without very much success. By now
Nirvana thought they had got an unfair welcome in the industry, and they decided to
change record company from Sub-Pop records to Geffen records. In 1991 they signed a
contract with Geffen records and started to produce their next album which was to be
named Nevermind.

September 24th the same year Nevermind was released and debuts as number 144 on
the hit lists, but after an interview on MTV’s Headbangers Ball and an appearance on
NBC’s Saturday Night Live the album climbs right to the top spot whit their hit song
"Smells like teen spirit".

Kurt had never expected to be so popular and did not even like the idea of being a main
stream rocker. He hated the commercial part of Nirvana and had several times
encouraged the audience to stop buying their records and to stop coming to their
concerts. Kurt thought most of the fans were false fans and only liked their hit single
"Smells like teen spirit". In this period Nirvana mostly played arena rock shows and this
wasn’t the way they liked to play. They
preferred to play in small clubs where the energy gets more intense and intimate. But
because of their bad habit to crush guitars, amps and so, they had to do the arena rock
shows because of the money. Kurt also started to use heavy drugs more often in this
period, such as heroin and morphine. At this point Kurt described himself as suicidal. 

24th of January 1992, Kurt got married to the former stripper Courtney Love in Wakiki,
Hawaii.  She is now known for her band Hole and is also doing a god job in the film
industry, The People vs Larry Flint, whatever. Six months after they got married they
had a child, Frances Bean. When Courtney was pregnant there were big (?????)… in
the press which claimed she was using heroin while she was pregnant with Frances.
Courtney, of course, denied all of this,
but she did not deny that she was using heroin. She claims she stopped using heroin that
instant she got to know she was pregnant.

The other members of Nirvana hoped Kurt would calm down now that he had a wife
and kid   This was also the fact, for a while. In this period they recorded a new album,
Incesticide. This album was supposed to "get rid off" all the false fans which they got
under the Nevermind success, with the more peculiar sound which reminded some of
the Bleach days and some of the tracks were even supposed to be on Bleach. They
succeeded in this. 

In the beginning of 1993 they recorded what was to be their last studio recorded album,
In Utero. This album was recorded in two weeks, but wasn’t released for another six
months, due the work-title "I Hate Myself And I Want To Die. This title reflects the
fact of Kurt being suicidal.

When Kurt was on a seminar in July 1993 he overdosed on heroin. Courtney injected
him with an illegal drug to save him. Later that same day he went on stage and played a
concert, no one noticed anything. From now Kurt’s drug abuse was starting to get out of
hand. Courtney threatened several times to divorce him if he did not get treatment for
his abuse. He agreed to get treatment for his abuse, but didn’t last long at the rehab
centre. He later escaped from this centre although it was voluntary. He said this was a
place for retards or something. It wasn’t a proper place for him to be.

In the beginning of 1993 Nirvana played an MTV unplugged concert, and they played
what was to be their final concert in Munich 29th Mars 1994. One week later Kurt was
hospitalised in a coma. The next day he awoke and asked for a milkshake. After a few
days he left the hospital by his own will. Kurt disappears after this and is reported
missing by his wife. She also hires a private investigator to trace him, she fears that he
might show up dead.

8th of April 1994 Kurt was found dead in his own house, of what appeared to be a
shotgun blast to his head three days earlier. Two days after there were a memorial
where Courtney read a part from his suicide note. Kurt had said earlier that same year
that he never expected to reach the age of 30. Unfortunately he was right. He became
a rock legend like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison. They all became 27.

Later that year their unplugged in NY was released, and this album got great response
although it was weird to hear Nirvana without their distorted guitars.

                      Smells Like Teen Spirit
                          In Bloom
                       Come As You Are
                           Breed
                          Lthium
                           Polly
                       Territorial Pissings
                         Drain You
                         Lounge Act
                         Stay Away
                         On A Plain
                      Something In The Way
 

Liner Notes
Kurt Cobain: Vocals/Guitars
David Grohl: Drums/Vocals
Chris Novoselic: Bass/Vocals
Kirk Canning: Cello on "Something In The Way"
Produced and Engineered by Butch Vig and Nirvana
Mixed by Andy Wallace
Recorded at Sound City, Van Nuys, CA
Assistant Engineer: Craig Doubet
Mastered by Howie Weinberg at Masterdisk, New York City, NY
Management: Danny Goldberg and John Silva for Gold Mountain
Entertainment
Legal Affairs: Alan Mintz/Ziffern, Brittenham & Branca
A&R Gary Gersh 

CD Package Art Direction/Design: Robert Fisher 

CD Package Photos: Michael Lavine 

CD Package Monkey Photo: Kurdt Kobain 

CD Package Cover Photo: Kirk Weddle
 
 

Lyrics
 
 

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Load up on guns and bring your friends 
It's fun to lose and to pretend 
She's over bored and self assured 
Oh no, I know a dirty word 

Hello, hello, hello, how low? 

I'm worse at what I do best 
And for this gift I feel blessed 
Our little tribe has always been 
And always will until the end 

Hello, hello, hello, how low? 

And I forget just why I taste 
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile 
I found it hard, it was hard to find 
Oh well, whatever, nevermind 

Hello, hello, hello, how low? 

With the lights out, it's less dangerous 
Here we are now, entertain us 
I feel stupid and contagious 
Here we are now entertain us
A mulatto 
An albino 
A mosquito 
My libido 
Yay, a denial
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

In Bloom

Sell the kids for food 
weather changes moods 
Spring is here again 
reproductive glands 

He's the one who likes all the pretty songs 
And he likes to sing along 
And he likes to shoot his gun 
But he knows not what it means
And I say aahh 

We can have some more, nature is a whore 
Bruises on the fruit, tender age in bloom
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Come As You Are 

Come as you are, as you were 
As I want you to be 
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy 

Take your time, hurry up 
The choice is your, don't be late 
Take a rest as a friend as an old memoria 

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach 
As I want you to be 
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memoria 

And I swear that I don't have a gun 
No I don't have a gun
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Breed 

I don't care if I'm old 
I don't mind if I don't have a mind 
Get away, get away from your home 
I'm afraid, I'm afraid of a ghost 

Even if you have 
Even if you need 
I don't mean to stare 
We don't have to breed 
We can plant a house 
We can build a tree 
I don't even care 
We could have all three 
She said
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Lithium 

I'm so happy because today 
I've found my friends 
They're in my head 
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, cause so are you 
We've broken our mirrors 
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care 
And I'm not scared 
Light my candles in a daze 
Cause I've found god 
Hey, hey, hey 

I'm so lonely but that's okay I shaved my head 
And I'm not sad 
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard 
But I'm not sure 
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there 
But I don't care 
I'm so horny but that's okay 
My will is good 
Hey, hey, hey 

I like it, I'm not gonna crack 
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack 
I love you, I'm not gonna crack 
I kill you, I'm not gonna crack
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Polly

Polly wants a cracker 
Think I should get off of her first 
I think she wants some water 
To put out the blow torch 

It isn't me 
We have some seed 
Let me clip 
Your dirty wings 
Let me take a ride 
Don't hurt yourself 
I want some help 
To please myself 
I've got some rope 
You have been told 
I promise you 
I have been true 
Let me take a ride 
Don't hurt yourself 
I want some help 
To help myself 

Polly wants a cracker 
Maybe she would like more food 
She asks me to untie her 
A chase would be nice for a few 
Polly says her back hurts 
And she's just as bored as me 
She caught me off my guard 
It amazes me, the will of instinct
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Territorial Pissings 

When I was an alien, cultures weren't opinions 

Never met a wise man, if so it's a woman 

Just because you're paranoid 
Doesn't mean they're not after you 

Gotta find a way, to find a way, when I'm there 
Gotta find a way, a better way, I had better wait 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Drain You 

One baby to another said 
I'm lucky to have met you 
I don't care what you think 
Unless it is about me 
It is now my duty to completely drain you 
A travel through a tube 
And end up in your infection 

Chew your meat for you
Pass it back and forth in a passionate kiss 
From my mouth to yours because I like you 

With eyes so dilated 
I've became your pupil 
You've taught me everything 
Without a poison apple 
The water is so yellow, I'm a healthy student 
Indebted and so grateful 
Vacuum out the fluids 

Sloppy lips to lips 
You're my vitamins because I'm like you
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Lounge Act

Truth covered in security 
I can't let you smother me 
I'd like to but it wouldn't work 
Trading off and taking turns 
I don't regret a thing 

And I've got this friend, you see 
Who makes me feel and I 
Wanted more than I could steal 
I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield 
I'll go out of my way to prove I still 
Smell her on you 

Don't tell me what I wanna hear 
Afraid of never knowing fear 
Experience anything yoy need 
I'll keep fighting jealousy 
Until it's fucking gone 

I'll go out of my way to make you a deal 
We've make a pact to learn from who 
Ever we want without new rules 
We'll share what's lost and what we grew 
They'll go out of their way 
To prove they still 
Smell her on you
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Stay Away

Monkey see, monkey do 
I don't know why I'd rather be deal than cool 
Every line ends in rhyme 
Less is more, love is blind 

Stay away 

Give an inch, take a smile 
Fashion shits, fashion style 
Throw it out and keep it in 
Have to have poison skin 

Stay away 
God is gay, burn the flag
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

On A Plain

I'll start this off without any words 
I got so high that I scratched 'til I bled 

I love myself better than you 
I know it's wrong so what should I do? 

The finest day that I've ever had 
Was when I learned to cry on command 

I'm on a plain 
I can't complain 

My mother died every night 
It's safe to say, don't quote me on that 

The black sheep got blackmailed again 
Forgot to put on the zip code 

Somewhere I have heard this before 
In a dream my memory has stored 

As a defense I'm neutered and spayed 
What the hell am I trying to say 

It is now time to make it unclear 
To write off lines that don't make sense 

One more special message to go 
And then I'm done then I can go home
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Something In The Way

Underneath the bridge 
The tarp has sprung a leak 
And the animals I've trapped 
Have all become my pets 
And I'm living off of grass 
And the drippings from the ceiling 
But it's okay to eat fish 
Cause they haven't any feelings 
 

Something in the way